Men and women leave relationships for different reasons. It can be confusing trying to sort out the mind of the opposite sex. Even when we’re told something, we often feel there’s more to the story or that the other person is out and out lying about the situation, and it really only hits home when you are personally affected.
I don’t suppose there would be very many relationships that go right through life without some sort of break up, some a lot more serious than others. I would like to tell you about my own experiences and some lessons I learned about getting my ex back.These experiences would certainly apply to either sex.
Don’t Panic ..Easier said than done isn’t it? You may be otherwise a very rational person, but when it comes to the end of our relationship we can easily lose control, we go through a period of sadness which can and often does turn into madness, “Its not my fault” we say or maybe ” What’s the matter with her” and then we start dialling our ex, saying things that maybe the next day makes us sorry.
Take a Break…Again easier said than done, but as I learned it was critical in getting my ex back. I needed to stop calling, emailing, stopping by or showing up at places where you think she might be found. You may think that the key to getting her/him back is telling them how much you really care as soon as possible. The truth is you may well make your ex to feel alienated and maybe even angry with you.
Avoid Depression…It’s normal for people to feel blue after a break up. But it’s critical that you don’t fall into a pit of despair when you’re working toward getting back together. You don’t want to make it even harder by falling into depression. Some things we must try and avoid are sleeping all day, staying home instead of accepting invitations to go out, drowning ourselves in alcohol (bad one), telling anyone that will listen about our break up and calling in sick to work.
Where Did We Go Wrong?…This I found to be a very critical lesson in getting my ex back. Now that we are spending some time apart from our ex, we can take a step back and look at the relationship. It’s difficult to be completely objective, but we need to try to remove our emotions from the facts about our relationship. Let’s look at the positives against the negatives, it may even be a good idea to write them down because there will of course be many.
Why Do You Want To Get Back Together?…. Another critical thing we need to analyse is our reason for wanting to get back into the same relationship. We all have initial feelings of regret, but are the reasons concrete enough to justify returning to the same person? We tell ourselves lies when we are upset, I’ll die without him, He/she was my whole life, I will never find anybody as good, she/he was the best thing that happened to me, I can’t be happy alone, It will be different next time, I will change everything I did wrong before and so it can go on.
It’s totally normal to feel like this, but you need to know that all of those statements are false! You can absolutely be a happy individual again with or without this person.
We MUST ask ourselves…Was the break up a rash decision? Were we happy most of the time we were together? Do we generally want the same things? And above all are we prepared to make big changes?
I realised that none of us are perfect and there will always be some disagreements ,but having made the decision that the relationship was worth fighting for I got some help with surviving a breakup and learned how to take care of myself, formulate a plan, open the lines of communication with my ex, and get back in the game.
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