When a female wants to tell a man about her problem, she doesn’t want solutions. After a really terrible encounter or something really embarrassing happens, a girl wants a guy to listen. All she wants is someone to listen and offer calming words.
She isn’t looking for solutions. I repeat; she doesn’t want solutions. Unless she specifically asks you for a suggestion on how to fix the situation, just shut up and listen or else you’re going to make her even more upset. This is the 411 the low down so if guys don’t understand why they’re making the girls in their life irritated this will explain it.
After a horrible experience, a girl wants the guy to listen and say how sorry he is that happened to her or that the other individual was out of line. Whatever it is, play along because the girl wants you to listen, act astonished, and then you can talk about it. It might help to rag on the other person.
It may also be helpful if you volunteer to give a back rub, hug, or massage their shoulders. These are comforting to the girl, and it allows them to loosen up. It would be remarkably nice if you offered to take the girl out for a sundae or to get a drink. A little compassion goes a long ways.
What girls do not want to hear is to be made aware of what they did wrong in the situation. I’m pretty sure the girl has already evaluated the situation, and doesn’t need you to tell her why she failed at something.
In spite of what you may think, girls have a lot of common sense and don’t need a guy to advise them why they failed on a test. They have already determined whether they need to study more, wasn’t familiar with the concept, were graded wrongly, forgot a part of the theory, made foolish mistakes, or whatever it is. In the end, she knows the setback and she knows how to resolve it.
Just today I was in a chat with a guy and I was telling him about a problem. He didn’t even listen to the full story before he started offering suggestions. The point is that I wanted him to be angry just like I was. I had already taken care of the circumstance, but I just wanted him to listen and sympathize.
It was then that I flat out said “I don’t want solutions I just wanted you to empathize.” This opened the ways of communication in the workplace because now he understands what I require from the conversation when I tell him something and I know that when he talks to me he wants ideas.
Sometimes, it is easiest to just say what you want out of the conversation and you can actually cover what both men and women in the conversation need. Because guys and girls think in a different way; maybe this will open up communication and everyone can get what they need out of the conversation.
This is also part of the reason that having a girlfriend is so imperative. They are very supportive and can give the kind of sympathy and backing that many guys just can’t seem to give. There is a difference in what the expectations are from the conversation and when you acknowledge what each others needs in the conversation are, a lot can be accomplished and things run much better.
Diane Johnson graduated with a Bachelor of Science from the University of Utah and enjoys writing about current events, politics, college degrees, classes online, and the office.